Societal Norms
by Shikamaru'sLover01
Summary: Is there really such a think as freedom or liberty when each man, woman, and child is a prisoner within their own being, not being aloud to do or say as they wish because of society's frowning face? NeilXTodd rated m for later chapters


A/N: A Christmas story in February? Sure why the hell not. I was going through my things and I saw this half finished ToddXNeil story from years ago and I reread it and wondered what was wrong with me when I decided not to finish it. So I am working on it again. Hope you like :D

"I wish you a Merry Christmas

I wish you a Merry Christmas

and a Happy New Year!"

The residence of the Dorm stopped on their way to classes, to the showers, to the restroom, or to where ever their destination might be as Neil, with his arm around Todd who was smiling and starring at the ground with a blush on his face, lead the rest of the dead poets society down the hallway singing Christmas Carrols at the top of their voices.

Flashing his exuberant smile all the way down the hallway Neil led the way to his and Todd's own room. Switching to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer the boys spread out across the room, most on the floor, or the few chairs. Todd and Neil took seats on Todd's bed as Nuwanda threw himself on Neil's yelling "Count down to the holidays begins now! Two days and three hours until lift off!" He jumped off and landed in the middle of the room and began stalking energetically around the room like a caged beast. It was two days until the two week long vacation and every boy would be leaving to go with their families. All that is except Todd, who's family would be in another country, and Neil whose Dad decided he should stay to study.

"Ok so we have time for one more dead poets meeting?" Neil asked to the many head shakes from the boys in the room. "No we got to pack and get ready to go." many of them said in different ways. "Fine. Ok we can set one up when you guys get back." When conversation dwindled the people filed out leaving the room to its owners.

"So you excited for our two weeks alone?" Neil asked jokingly, turning his back to the other to tug the blanket on his bed. With his back turned he didn't notice the way Todd's cheeks flared. The boy, harboring romantic notions towards the other, was more than happy to be spending the two weeks with him, with the smile that was so easy to coax out and lit up every dark corner of his soul. He was looking forward to being with the one person that was able to bring him out of his silence, the one person that stole his heart, his one best friend. He didn't worry about Neil finding out that Todd liked him. Todd long ago learned how to hide everything wrong with him. He wouldn't tell him any way, he didn't want Neil to spurn him, and he didn't want Neil to feel like he did. That everything was wrong with him and he didn't deserve to live.

"Yeah." was all he said. Neil laughed as he threw some books on his desk and sat down opening one.

Todd stripped his shirt off and laid himself down on his bed as he did every night. Staring into the ceiling and contemplating his never ending thought process. Such a mystery he was and Neil couldn't help glancing at him now and then. Yes Neil had his own feelings for the boy on the bed; he too, was extremely excited to have the vacation with Todd the best alternative to spending the vacation with his father though any alternative would be welcome.

An odd note struck him as he read and as always he voiced it to his friend.

"What does liberty mean to you?" Neil asked making a show of looking across the room trying to not let his eyes travel the length of his lithe body but as always they did so unbidden.

"W-what do you mean?" Todd asked, oblivious to the other's scrutiny so lost in his thoughts.

"Liberty. The word. What does it mean to you?" he cocked his head to the side and tried to pierce Todd with his gaze. He loved messing with his friend, he knew that Todd wasn't use to having attention on him so whenever one the dead poets or teachers or even Neil himself focused on him he would get flustered his usual blush washing deliciously over his face. Neil only wished that it was him and him alone that made Todd blush.

"It means freedom, r-right?" Todd asked, as always unsure of himself. He sat up and timidly returned Neil's gaze.

Neil laughed. "Basically, but what does it _mean._ Liberty, freedom, what does it mean?" he took a pause. Pushing and clawing at his chest was a rant he was suddenly dyeing to unleash. With any one else he wouldn't go off, but he felt he needed to rant at Todd. "We are supposed to be free. We fought for it, we died for it. But can we really ever be free? There is so much clouding and morphing our understanding about what we are aloud to do. Society, family, government, the school. Everything and everyone has a say in what you do, and it's almost physically impossible to go against their wishes for fear of a isolation. Is there really such a think as freedom or liberty when each man, woman, and child is a prisoner within their own being, not being aloud to do or say as they wish because of society's frowning face?" Before he knew it he was on his feet pacing as he let loose his grievance with society. He ended up in front of Todd starring at him as if he could somehow fix it. And Todd just sat there, mouth a bit open, struggling to find the words to calm his friend. They stayed that way for a long moment, eyes locked. Neil calmed as he noticed once again just how Todd's eyes seemed liked storm clouds. A nice mix of blue and dark grey.

"I-I assume you're mad at your dad?" Todd asked finally breaking the moment. Neil's words had cut a little too close to home, for it was that exact reason why he didn't tell Neil the he liked him. Society's frowning face and fear of isolation.

Neil let out a hard breath. His body which had been tense during his whole rant now caved in on itself. He was suddenly very tired. He went and pulled his shirt over his head, clicked off the light and climbed into his bed. Todd hadn't moved and Neil could feel him staring at him. He laid on his back looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm mad at everyone Todd." he sighed and rolled onto his side facing Todd, who still hadn't moved.

"Everyone?" came his meek reply

Neil laughed, retrieving a bit of himself " 'cept you. Could never be mad at you."

Todd smiled into the dark and laid back on his bed, getting comfortable.

After a few moments of silence Neil spoke out. "Todd?"

He mumbled back a sleepy "yeah?"

"You wouldn't be mad at me would you?"

"Mad at you 'bout what?"

"If I didn't follow societal norms. If I did what I want to do, just because I wanted to do it?"

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"So I can?"

"Yup"

"Good night Todd."

"G'night"

A/N: More to come, I enjoy the possibilities for this hope you do to. Review 3


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